so i was all set to write about vegetables and then wisemonkey goes and does something like post a link on facebook to a New York Times article on po'boys. yes, she's gone and done it, and pretty much all i wanted all day was a New Orleans-style zep.


Po'Boys
i've got a long loaf of French bread here from an outstanding local Vietnamese bakery, and i'm going to split this in half and then coat the insides with some Tabasco butter. a sandwich like this would be the ideal occasion to make some suck free mayo and season it up with chipotle or Tabasco or paprika.

i've got some shrimp here, 1 lb. of them, 30 count, peeled and cleaned. i'm going to batter these suckers up and fry them. fuck healthy eating, i'll do that tomorrow. this is a 3-step dredging process, as i run them through bowls containing the following:

1. a cup of regular flour mixed with paprika
2. 2 eggs beaten with a few T of water and spritzes of Tabasco
3. a mix of 1C corn flour, 1/2C regular flour, and more paprika

so i dredge the shrimp 3 times, get them all coated up. (nice and sloppy, this recipe.) now i heat 2 1/2 C of oil in a frypan and cook the shrimp in 2 batches. fry them just until golden brown, and its important not to crowd the pan. i'm making 2 large sandwiches here, so i'm gonna do one for sophonax first and then one for me.

let the shrimp drain on a paper towel after frying, then stuff the French bread full – shrimps, shredded lettuce, some red onion, a tenacious tomato from the garden. smother the contents aggressively with Tabasco, slice in half, serve with a cold beer.

OK, who's awesome?

what i remembered after an hourlong shlep to Berkeley this morning, upon seeing a deserted campus: "oh yeah, its a holiday today."

Chef Jackass kept it simple tonight. well, simple for me anyway – epic beef soaked in key lime and grilled medium rare, sautéed brown mushrooms, salad of red onion and tenacious tomatoes. i mean, seriously, its november and the tomato plants are still churning out the fruits. best tomato plant ever.

i need a little spice here to get the endorphins running, to try and get this headcold out of the system, so i went for an old favorite sauce of mine to give the food some zing.

North Carolina style BBQ sauce
this is table sauce meant to accompany any sort of slow-cooked or grilled meats, veggies, or what have you. you'd find it served in a squeezie bottle in a good BBQ joint, and you can slop it all over everything.

3/4 C white vinegar
3/4 C red vinegar
1 T brown sugar
1 T chile (i used chile powder, but cayenne or crushed red pepper flakes also work)
1-2 T Tabasco or other red hot sauce

combine all of that, let it sit at least 4 hrs. in the fridge. (i left mine over night). then bring it to room temp and stir it up once more just before serving.

i poured that all over my dinner tonight. it makes my mouth happy.

coming soon to the program – how Chef Jackass fights vegetable abuse. stay tuned.

OK, kids, tonight we're going to have some fun and play with fire. Chef Jackass has been sick all week, and is in the mood for a hearty meal thats also healthy and diverse. that, and he wants to burn stuff. this is definitely NOT a simple recipe, but i'm confident that some of you (wisemonkey, quinquennia) can handle it. some of you (bbstenniz, cesarsalad) can work your way up to it. and some of you, of course, (spherulitic) need to learn how to turn on the oven. sigh ...

Not-Half-Baked Chile Rellenos
most of the time, rellenos are served battered and fried. however, you can also bake them. for tonight's recipe, i'm going to use the cedar plank, but any sort of baking dish will suffice.
the foundation of rellenos is traditonally the poblano:



the poblano is a good, middle-class chile. it doesnt have the flashy star power of the hot ones out on the fringes, but it has a nice taste and its ample girth makes it ideal for stuffing.

we need to concoct a good mixture here. so i heat up some olive oil in a frying pan, add about 1/3 of a diced onion and 3 cloves of garlic. OK, brown those up here, and now we're going to add 1 lb. of ground pork. ah, yeah. the swine without the flu. whats not to like? OK, so we brown the pork here, but we dont want to overcook it. it doesnt need to be crispy here. let that drain on a paper towel. while the pork is draining here, i dice 1 mango – a fine dice, small squares. i'm also going to shred a small bowl's worth of pecorino:



pecorino romano is an Italian sheep cheese. its got a mild flavor, and it doesnt contain too much salt. i want the cheese to enhance the flavor here, but not overpower the meat. so, now we're going to combine the swine, mango, and sheep cheese together in a bowl and set that aside.

OK, time for some fun.

i've got 4 poblanos here. the first thing we need to do is char the chiles. very simple on a gas stove - just put it on the burner and crank the flame. you could even use a crème brûlée blowtorch for this, if you wanted to. (a blowtorch in the kitchen, thats fuckin awesome!) keep the stem out of the flame, use it as a handle. you want to turn the chiles and blacken the skins all the way around. after you remove it from the heat, you want to wrap the chile in a paper towel and let it sweat for 10 minutes, and so i'll hand this here to sophonax, who is assisting me ably, and put another pepper on the flame, and ...

"YIKES!!!"

oh shit, there was an ember still burning on the chile and now the paper towel KC is holding is ON FIRE! isnt this awesome! pyrotechnics on the Chef Jackass show! alright!

in truth, that was lazy of me – ALWAYS check to make sure the chile is no longer on fire before you wrap it up like that. i'm fairly nonchalant about kitchen fires, since i've dealt with them for years and know what to do, but that was a little frightening. KC just tossed the whole thing on the stovetop and the fire burned itself out.

OK, so where were we ... after you let the chiles sweat, you want to take the tip of a knife and scrape the burned skins off the peppers. you want to then make a slice on one side to open up the pepper, and you want to remove the pod and the seeds.

now we spoon in our pork-mango mixture and fill the peppers up. i put them on the cedar plank, and bake 20 minutes at 400°. if you are using something like a glass dish, i would go 15 min. at 375°. it takes longer to cook on the plank, but we get that nice smoky flavour of the cedar, and we combine that with a great mix of the natural salty pork, the sweet mango, and the soft cheese. wow, this is awesome.

serve them up with more grated cheese on top, plus a lime wedge and enough hot sauce to make my nose run. and we also have some of KC's delicious, fresh sourdough bread on the side, with a chardonnay-garlic dipping sauce. oh yeah. this much rulage is actually illegal in 18 states, so you should check all local laws and statutes before making this recipe.

to hell with Hellmans

Suck Free Mayo
basic ingredients
yolks of 2 eggs
2 T lemon juice
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1 tsp brown mustard
1 C veggie oil

bonus ingredients that i like adding (choose from list)
– hot sauce! (i like tabasco, personally)
– chipotle chile
– worcestershire sauce
– garlic (always a fave)

combine the egg yolks & lemon juice in blender for about 45 secs
add salt/pepper/mustard/whatever secret ingredient(s) you choose, blend another 45 secs
drizzle in the oil, blend it until its emulsified

get it in the fridge as soon as youre done, cuz we got raw eggs here. but once cold it'll last for a few days.

OK food mavens, its time to get back into the kitchen ... er, it'll be time to get back into the kitchen as soon as i do these dishes. bleah. i went to Duc Loi today and restocked the pantries and the fridge, so we're raring to go with more culinary awesomeness.

so, which recipe shall i put forth this week? i have both a dish and a sauce in mind, but i'm not sure which one i want to offer up:

1. chile rellenos
i bought some lovely poblanos today, and i was thinking of assembling a stuffing consisting of ground swine, mango, and some sheep cheese.

2. home made ketchup
bbstenniz was trying to extol the virtues of ketchup to me at dinner the other night. the problem with ketchup is that it sucks. the other problem with it is that it sucks. however, you can make your own ketchup at home that definitely doesnt suck, and it would go pretty darn good with the epic beef this weekend.

or should i just do both? or neither? any thoughts mavens? i do have previous requests in mind. we'll get to them as soon as i can. (i also have previous challenges in mind – they sell the bitter melon at Duc Loi but not the clams. still not sure what the hell to do with those. i'm working on it.)

but i do need to clean this kitchen first, so i can get back to culinary dominance and so sophonax can whip up some sourdough. she has been cultivating the live culture all weekend. she is a proud parent.

gads, did i ever draw well

14-4-1, +828
avg. for: 426.37
avg. against: 382.79

blanks: 24/38
S: 46/76
power: 55/95 (7J, 10K, 14Q, 10X, 14Z)

W-L when ...
bingoing more: 8-0-1
bingoing less: 1-2
same bingos: 5-2

both blanks: 6-1-1
split blanks: 6-2
no blanks: 2-1

bingos
xp 38
AVE(R)GING*, SILTIER
mARINA(D)E, STOrING
SASSIeR, OUTGAVE b2b, AEOlIAN, LUR(D)ANES
DEALInG
HEROINS, SPRINGE
PAINTED, FRI(E)NdLY, (I)RRIGATE out
METAGER(E)* (xp -> dumbass), RAPINES
REPAIN(T)S, (U)NAWARES 2x2, (D)ElATING out
BREWSkI, SEELING
LISTE[R]Ia
(no xp bingos in game 11)
SWAGGER, DERAILS
(A)DUlATES, LEPTiNS
ovERMAN, TENDER(E)D
B(A)LdNESs 2x2, DISPUTE
ORDINA(T)e 2x2, STINGE(R)S
ANISeED, (T)ERRANEs b2b
(D)RAINERs, (W)ALtZERS 137
OUT(A)SkED 3x3 122, D(O)MINIES b2b

opponents 24
TRACKEd, EN(G)RAILs 3x3 131
STAINED
B(L)EACHED
Q(U)IETiNG
MAGALOg
MONOXi(D)E
NESTiNG, ACOLYTE
EROSIvE,
TACRINE in, UNSTaBL(E)
REOR(I)EnT, M(E)TERAGE (xp -> deserved that for being a dumbass before)
EMEROid
EARNEST(S), EBONITe, gLAIKIT b2b
(no opp. bingos in games 13-14)
(O)UTLINER, A(R)DENTLY 3x3 167 b2b
EMPTINS, ANXIEtY
(no opp. bingos in games 17-18)
LAUDING, GNAWERS

yeah, that was some serious luckboxing. but i did actually play a bit, too, overcoming 100 pt. deficits to win 3 times. hey, it all just sort of worked. i dont know, i guess it was just my turn.

not only was i happy that i won a lot of games, but i was happy i had so many great games. the REDUX game with Jim Burlant and the tie with Peter are two of the better games i've ever been involved in. hell, the loss to Chris Williams was also great. so many of my games were close, spirited contests and an enormous amount of fun just to be a part of. it goes without saying that i wish all tourneys could be this way.

14-4-1, 4th place at the C.O. $800. that was incredible.

another wacky day today. in game 17, a recount turned a 4-pt. loss to Lester into a 4-pt. win. (Lester, to his credit, shook it off and won the last two to finish 7th.) what ensued was a zany game of "Race to the Zed" with iceplanets after we both needlessly, inexplicably opened up Z spots. no actual scrabble was played for a while as we chased that tile. the game was a mess. i got the Z along with ?AELRS and then (W)ALtZERS went down for 137. that clinched a spot in the money for me. in the KOTH, i drew the bag on goldfishbw – OUT(A)SkED 3x3, a 65-pt. Z and 56-pt. X – which was sort of sucky, actually, but we were both assured of cashing. i'm glad it didnt cost him (too much) money.

i played great (426 avg., 38 bingos), i drew great (24 blanks), and i didnt make THE BIG MISTAKE.

congrats to axolotl8 for his performance. Peter played brilliantly this weekend. i was very, very happy for him. his win was much deserved.

it was a great tourney and a great time with many, many people. full tourney report/restaurant report to come tomorrow, when i'm not exhausted.

11-3-1, 9th place overall.

dropped a couple in the morning, was 10-2 at lunch despite my best efforts to choke away a 150-lead against Roy Kamen (my outack of EFFURTZ was better than his rack of CEJOUVY). pulled it together after lunch, beat previously undefeated GI Joel at table 1 in game 13. i then played an amazing game with good friend and current leader axolotl8 (who is having a great tourney at 13-1-1), where i found what i thought would be a win in the endgame, but Peter realized with 0:06 on his clock that the only way not to lose was to V-stick himself, and so he did and it ended in a 389:389 tie. lost the last one of the day 499:457 to Chris Williams when he hit A(R)DENTLY 3x3 for 167. hey, it was a great play and a great game. i wasnt unhappy. those last two games were beautiful, even though it went down as 0-1-1 on the scorecard.

four more tomorrow. this has been a great event.

i have to say i'm shocked by this development.

8-0 +668, in 4th place after day 1 of the California Open. this was the inverse ABQ – whereas everything that could possibly go wrong did in New Mexico, everything that could possibly go right did today. i played great, drew great, great escapes and a couple of HUGE breaks. i probably should be 5-3, actually, but i didnt make the big mistake(s) today. i put myself in positions to win and won.

456 average, 3 500+ games. yeah, that was all amazing.

in NO WAY am i THIS good, just as in NO WAY was i THAT BAD when i stunk up the joint in ABQ. but, for a day, i get to enjoy it. and i did a screen capture of the standings posted on CGP, since it'll be the last time i'm ever ahead of some of those players.

the great escape: i'm down 480:419 at this point, having played AVERGING* to try and make something happen and walking into his 3x3. whoops. i have the rack shown below, he has IOOO. yuck. this was a nuts sequence where i figured out a way to win, and i got a big break when my opponent didnt figure out what i was doing. how did i do it?